Sometimes I feel I'm such a hypocrite..
Don't just say it, do it! Bring yourself back together and be strong! Do not be shaken so easily...You'll be destroying yourself only, look forward to a new life, and do not think about the past anymore..The past is the past, don't ponder on it anymore, coz it wouldn't do any good.
Please, don't make things worse anymore, ok girl? God is there to lead the way, and you shouldn't take things into your own hands anymore, even if you don't fully understand the reason this is happening. You will need time to get over this. It'll hurt a lot like last time, but after that, it'll be ok..It will, and you gotta trust that you can make it, ok? God is with you, He loves you and you won't be condemned in Him.
You gotta grow to become a mature lady..you're just so childish, looking at the small goals in life. You've neglected the more important things in life, especially those for the future. Were you too young to think of this? Or you just couldn't catch up because you're slow to mature? Were you blind enough to not listen to the right things that was told to you?
Sigh..maybe it's just fate. If it is yours, it is yours. Forcing things wouldn't do things any good. Happiness wouldn't be made through forcing.
It's time to let things go and pursue for your future and for your family. Remember you said that you want to learn how to love God more? Remember you said that you want to honour Him by obeying His commandments? Let bygones be bygones...
Please be strong...Please..you gotta be strong, girl...don't fail anymore, ok?
Oh God...it hurts so much when the memories came back, it hurts so much to have the flashbacks..I miss them so much...
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