只能留下回忆，想见又不想见......

I wish the English language could be written in a simpler, sophisticated yet sincere way to express the way I am feeling, the way the Chinese language was designed to express their meanings in one single character of each ideogram..

昨晚我们又相见。。我又再伤心了，我觉得很可息因为我失去了一个心中里面最真贵的东西， 一个我失去了又永远都不再会回来到我身边的人。

I thought it was over. Yes it is, but somehow the words still hurt me. It still hurts. I wish I could express it all in Chinese, coz somehow I felt it is most appropriately described in it.

I've changed my perception towards a relationship already. I will not dare to take any relationship into something serious anymore. Anything can crop up in the process. You'll never know that the next moment we might end up losing each other and all the future plans for being happy together, the love for a better life together might be shattered into pieces for all we know.

I'm in tears again. It's been a while since my last...it's just so hard to get by it sometimes.

Oh God, help.

Another Day Out...

We had a great time last Friday, this time with more of the 980s.

It was a so-called last gathering we're gonna have for our batch, coz we're soon graduating and everybody's going solo, so we decided to at least come for the last time. Desiree was always as usual, ditching everyone at the last minute, and Serene almost didn't make it because of her unfortunate "encounter" ; apparently she kicked on something on her way out and got her toe cracked, haha. Luckily Raj was generous enough to pay for her cab and she finally showed up. At least she is still mobile...

Anyways, our first stop was at Edward's place- the Edward Lee Apartments. We were, by all means, surprised, shocked, awed, stunned and impressed. Man, this is an intelligent guy. A very intelligent one. I mean the way he portrays himself out there, the way he communicates with people, he doesn't look at all like a rich man's kid. He look's like an independent kid who did all he could to have a better life for himself n his family. And he did it, at the age of 29. We're all proud to know him~

For some reasons, many of our batchmates started to question about the both of us. Whether I was interested in him, or the other way round. Hmm..i must admit to a certain extent there's some attraction, but somehow I wouldn't allow myself to go further than that. Maybe because I feel inferior and I just wouldn't know how to deal with guys like this. Too well off, is a good thing for that person, but not so good for his life long partner. Does he actually take all this seriously? Or he would rather have more options n choices outside there? I don't know. One thing I know, I wasn't attracted to his wealth initially, because at first sight, I find this guy's attitude quite to my preference n liking. I didn't know about his wealth or whatsoever. It wasn't about his looks, his outer appearance, but rather this humble n intelligent character protrayed by him.

I will not dare to take any initiative, or do anything obvious, coz this will definitely affect the friendship. Seeing him with his girlfriend makes me feel bad to even have that thought and feeling. I can't be intercepting them n steal away their happiness...Oh well, I can just look and watch from beside...

Of course I took the opportunity to come up, close n personal with this handsome "guy" too ;)

We were at his house till about 12 am while waiting for the others to come. Man this guys were late! We were of coz being entertained and served by this wealthy, humble man with alot of drinks n some snacks through the night..while he hardly had much for his dinner (Maggi Mee). Thanks for all the hospitality he had to us =) . Ok, I didn't know what kinda drinks he gave to the guys, but they really had a lil' too much to drink that night. Aren't they suppose to control themselves and not touch that Absinth??? I wonder what they were thinking....

One of the guys were totally out that night..He was totally a goner...It was 1st experience looking at a real drunkard. He was completely out of his mind n started talking nuts n crapping the whole time. Super paiseh... =S Some of us just had to pretend we didn't know this guy la.. =P.

It wasn't really our concern anyway coz the other guys took care of the situation, and we were just there to observe. It was just a good nite out, having fun and we all went back home safely.. but the highlight was definitely the stunning apartments... ;) . Way to go, way to go~


~At the dining table~

~Eddie, Raj, Taufik n Me~

Losing My Passion....

I looked back into the past. I see myself living my dream and passion...And now I looked at friends who persisted from day one together with me. They're halfway to their dream. They've got their passion in place and their living it; living with Music.

This passion in us is something where money can't replace and a relationship that just couldn't rob away from, let alone other things in life. It is just that satisfaction that we've fulfilled in our lives with no regrets. Oh, how I hope people would understand what we're going through. It's not money that matters. It doesn't matter if we don't earn as much as others. It's just the journey and the achievement that was less enjoyed and experienced by most people. It's just something we enjoy doing for life, when others may not understand or feel the same way we do. Others may feel comfortable in a secured, mundane, monotonous and common life, but that's not for us.

I'm not a person who can be satisfied with that kind of life. I have an adventurous self that couldn't be fulfilled easily. I am someone that looks for new challenges everytime to constantly maintain the enthusiasm. I am not a person who could ever sit still. I am impatient.

As if losing a relationship is not enough- I'm now losing my passion. I'm losing a part of my life. My life becomes somewhat meaningless without the passion. I slowly become a nobody. I am slowly diluting into the life of a common. I'm losing that thing that portrays my uniqueness and to stand out from the others.

I always wanted to be different from the common; to be uniquely unique. Oh, when will I be able to do it again? Time is slowly catching up, and I do not have much time anymore. I am now making it a sideline. It will never be forgotten in my life. It will never be taken away by anything or anybody. It shall be with me forever and ever, even if the world fails on me.

Dear Lord, please reveal Your purpose in me. I believe You've given me this talentand gift for a purpose. Use it for Your glory. May I be a servant unto You, O' Lord. Please do not leave me. I will only follow You and You alone till the end of my life. I am waiting upon You Lord. It is time I do something for You, my life's Author, my Friend, my Saviour, my Lord, my dear Jesus Christ.

Let all praise be unto You, and my life be dedicated to You, Dear Lord. Amen.