Thursday, April 24, 2008

Day 23 without Dan- Still Can't be Alone yet..

arrrghhh....starting to think too much again..I really still can't be alone for the time being. It's so hard! So many things could come and cloud my mind everytime I'm alone. Sigh....

Been trying to keep myself busy and been looking for company so I don't have to be at home alone..but I still have to be back at home for the nights..and there you go..the thoughts come back and I will wake up very early the next morning. It seems I do not need so much rest and the lack of sleep symptoms doesn't seem to get me anymore. I wonder what is wrong with me..

Time to time, I would be thinking and pondering on the past. Things that's happening around me seems to reflect the past, and I start to see things more clearly; I'll be like "no wonder this, no wonder that", and I'm trying very hard to get over it.

-When Love and Hate Collide-

How can you love somebody when you also hate that somebody at the same time? As time goes by, I seem to understand the way he feels as I slowly get into his shoes. I start to understand that when a person has been very decisive and standing strong on their decision, there's nothing I can hope for the person to change from their decisions.

I hate him. I hate him for being so cruel towards the relationship, being so cruel towards a person that love him so much, being cruel to put everything down so easily. It seems so easy for him to do so. I learned so much until I started to change my attitude towards love and relationship. Does it pay to be so loyal, sincere and loving somebody till the end no matter what? There, I think I got it. The answer is NO.

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