It's almost about a month without Dan now....Why am I not feeling happier...Everyday I would wake up feeling empty inside, as if a part of me is missing.
Well, that's what he thought, that I'll be happier..maybe he has to find his excuse to make this a valid reason I guess. There are always 101 reasons to love somebody, and also 101 reasons to not love somebody. I wonder what is it so happy about losing a precious person in life. I guess he just doesn't need somebody that loves him so much..
Am I still excited about life? Well, yeah, part of it, because I got a new job and I'm looking forward to a new life. I know times will be much more challenging because by then I'll be more alone most of the time. I would have to deal with those weird feelings again. Let's just hope that work will keep me busy and I don't have to grow insane over time. I just have to look forward and try my best to overcome every challenges ahead, and I know I'll be more grown up by then.
This is always my motto for life -Always willing to learn from mistakes and willing to improve. We can never be the best, but we'll be the best that we can be out of ourselves-
I hope things will be good in SG. I pray that I'll be cared for and be blessed with Christian batchmates, so we can support each other and keeping a sight on each other that we'll never loose sight of God. I pray that the landlord of the house/room will be a great person with a good personality that we may be able to get along with. I know they'll be lotsa politics, but I guess every job has theirs. I know things are not gonna be easy, so I just have to learn how to cope with it and hang to God that He'll take care of me.
As for the future, well, I don't know. I'll just follow where God leads me. I may be flying for long, I may not. Nothing will be certain for now. Maybe God wants me to leave halfway and serve Him, or being a good woman for a good man. Who knows? haha. The future is all in God's hands, for He is the author of our lives.
As for Dan, I hope he is happier now, that he doesn't have to take care of this kid anymore. I hope he doesn't have to feel stressed up everyday that this kid is still a kid and doesn't thinks of the future. I hope that he'll wake up to a new day everyday, without a burden in his heart anymore. I know God is with him, and I know he'll be taken care of. As hard as it is to let go, I'm forced to do it. But if he's happier, what more can I ask for?
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