Not enough sleep today…. =S
I woke up in the middle of the night feeling so warm with so many mosquito bites today…darn! I havent been having enough sleep for quite some time already and this makes it worst. Sigh…steamingly steam….
All rite, SAND’s album is on it’s way to Taiwan! These guys from Church of Praise, Ipoh are actually on a mission trip to Taiwan for 10 days on 29th April. I bet things are gonna be exciting for them, and I pray that God will be with them and may they shine in the presence of the Lord. I do one day hope to be on a mission trip too. I pray that God will give me a chance to do that someday. Just waiting for Your call, Daddy. =)
A friend of mine popped by Ipoh the day before yesterday on his way back to Penang from KL. It was surprising that he was willing to come by and visit me back here, coz usually people find it very inconvenient and not practical. Oh well, we managed to hang out for the day after work. At least someone to accompany me and overcome the boredom, at the same to free my mind a lil’ bit. For some reasons I don’t see him as I use to see him before already. Being at the same age, I guess he’s still exploring the world like I am, and the one thing I can see from him is that settling down is not one of his goals anytime soon. I guess everybody needs their own time to grow and change. Maybe he hasn’t been exploring enough yet, and I’m sure he’ll be a good man someday. It kind of reflected on myself; I guess I’ve been too serious sometimes in looking to have a serious relationship too early, where I didn’t even realise that my personal being is actually not ready and not able to take up such challenge yet. And I’ve to end up dissapointing others, sigh…the immature me is still growing up…
I haven’t been having a good appetite for quite some time too actually. Every meal I would just gobble up a few spoons and leave the rest on the table. Just can’t seem to find the same appetite as before anymore. Well, looking at the bright side, it’s a good thing too that I can control my weight. Dan always wanted me to slim down, and I remember telling him that my slimmest moments will be the moments when I’m most sad and depressed, and surely enough it is, but he hasn’t the chance to see it. I saw my weight coming down drastically within a few weeks, and I think I’ve broke my personal record for having the slimmest record to date. What to do, at times like this I can’t really eat; it seems everything’s tasteless and I do not crave for the things that I use to crave for anymore. My appetite shrunk, and I can’t seem to push down any extra stuff into my stomach anymore. Oh well, I guess I still need more time to get over it before getting back the appetite again.
Gosh, this period of transition seems to be taking forever. Darn, I hate to wait and wait like this. And what’s worse, the worst thing has to happen within this period of time. I can’t fast forward the time, and everyday I just have to wait patiently and being forced to allow bad things to happen, day by day. The transition period is already tough enough, let alone the bad things that happened. For once it seems everything is out of my control. But I hung on, tried my best to save it, and at the end, proven to be useless and a waste of time and energy. Well, if God wants to allow it to happen, I can’t do much about it. Quick, I wanna get a job fast and get on with a new life!!
It’s time I look through my life at another angle, and a totally different goal in life. I had once hopes for the previous one, and I saw that future of mine very clearly with a happy ending. I once was determined to strive for it. Now, my future that I see is once again blurred, and I have to strive for a whole new destiny again. This time I want to be walking within God’s path. I know if I stick to it, I will not be lost, coz He will guide me and be with me till the end.
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