My 1st week in SG~

Finally I get to get my hands on my blog! It's been 1 whole week + 2 days of tiredness n Internet-less days in this new foreign place...



Mon, 16th July, 10.25am was my flight, SQ 191 to SG.



Some of my faithful, loving n caring buddies went all the way to the airport to send me away. They knew, it wasn't a normal holiday trip for me, but a trip where I'm heading towards a new beginning of a new job n a new life. All of them; Simon, Camilia and Liang, woke up pretty early in the morning, careless about their normal wake up time for work and went all the way to the airport. Simon was the one that fetched me at that wee hours of the morning. We all know him; he's a nightbird, and that's the time where he would normally go to sleep. He's surely the man! I thank God for them and I really appreciate their friendship, love and care for me.



Oh well, we had our breakfast at the airport sharing the last time together before I flew off. "Well, this is it", I thought and so i stepped on board. I made a few calls to Mom, Dad, Grandma n Aunt Shann before the take-off. I expressed to Aunt Shann that I'm not confident enough to live alone and I'm not a person with a good attitude and behaviour, as I had a bad blow from Aunt Maggie the nite before for my mistakes and bad attitudes which I never realised. But then, she told me that I was not a failure, but a potential person who hasn't enough confidence. She told me that she has faith in me and will never give up on me although the others do. I was very touched, and I couldn't hold it any longer but to let my tears rolled down my cheeks. As it is, this was it. I took my 1st step on board as the 1st step to start everything anew; to change my bad attitudes and characters, to be a better person for God and learn to love others like Jesus does.

It was my first time at Changi Airport, and I never could've imagined it would be a long walk to the Arrival dept. I met one of my batchmates upon arrival and we're located at the hotel for a week before training. That began our hectic week. We're running here n there almost everyday to settle our EPs, bank a/c, phone line and looking for houses. Surely enough, I saw God's hands upon me n Anastasia. I got my room on the 2nd day in SG at a very fair n reasonable price, much lower than the market rates. It was certainly that our prayers were answered. Much better, the owner n our housemates are all Christians. God is good.



Although hectic, we managed to steal some time to walk around the city and did a little shopping ( Gee, that was fun as it was the Great SG sale season!) . We also managed to have a lil' treat ourselves (when waiting for our EP to be processed) in a small restaurant called "记得吃". They have lotsa very special HK 糖水/ chinese dessert and it was a guarantee-ing satisfaction. Nice and special. I bet Mom, Grandma n Aunt Shann will love it alot ;). Here are some sneak peeks at the pics and you bet I'm gonna bring them there one day!



Oh well, n so it goes. God's definitely here with me, and I thank God each n everyday for His goodness. May He continue to be with us, and may we shine for Him in everything we do. This is the starting, and a renewal of my faith n love to my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

It's my 2nd day in training now, I'll update more on the next entry. Stay tuned!

I'm Feeling Lonely Already..

I wonder what's wrong with me...I'm feeling lonely already right now. The fact that I've to leave all my friends and close ones makes me feel so alone like a stranger in a new place. Now I really understand how it feels to leave my home and going to a new place.

Simon's told me about how he feels for his girlfriend and how he misses her a lot. And I'm really glad for him that he has so much love for her and their relationship is great. Although there're things that are not so right from Simon, I still wish him the best with his 'Chellam' for years to come =). Camilia is doing with good with Herman. They are always forgiving each other and Herman's always so loving to her no matter what happens. This are such great examples that one must learn from them. I pray earnestly that God will take care of them.

I'm concerned of alot of things actually. I'm concerned about the people that I'm about to meet and whether I'm matured enough to handle tough situations and overcoming loneliness. I know it's gonna be tough. I'm concerned whether I'll be protected and whether there is anyone there for me in times of difficulty.

I know God will be there for me. I know He will protect me and bring great people to help me. I know I need to place my trust in God. I know it very well. But I've to admit, sometimes it's easier said than done. I always have my weaker side. I'm gonna really sit down n pray tonight to talk to my Father in Heaven.

There used to be someone there for me. But I've to learn how to be independent now. It's gonna be just me and God...I know I shouldn't be thinking back, and trying to be dependent on someone else, but I thought that's what a girl really really wants in life; to find a life partner where she can place her trust n love into. And right now, I've to start a new journey all over again. Guess I'm just not that strong enough..

Dear Father, please comfort me with Your presence. I'm really feeling very awkward right now as I pour my feelings out. It's just a feeling of loneliness, and no more than that I hope. I'm not as strong as people think. I'm not as matured as I thought I am. I need a lot of support. Please give me wisdom and mould me into a better and wiser person for You. I feel very empty inside at times. Only You can fill me up Lord. I wanna deal with myself before I could deal with people. It seems like I'm a problematic child, but I know I'll always have a better side in Your eyes. Please fill me with Your love, and do not leave me. I need You, dear Father.

Counting Down to the Days...

It's 2 days and counting...Boy I can't wait! haha.

Gee, suddenly time seemed so precious. I couldn't get enough of staying back here. I know I'm gonna miss my buddies and the place where I spent my study n youth years altogether. I'm gonna miss the time singing together with my best buds. This place was where I grew in my passion in music. It was where I established my status in singing.

It was music that brought me love, and music that took my love away. It was music that showed what I really wanted in life. It was music that brought me into a different path of life. It was God's blessings to me. But I know somehow, God's telling me that it's not the time yet for me pursue music at this moment. I must learn how to have faith and follow His will.

I went to sign my bond and collect the air ticket for the Monday flight with Mom and Camilia. Mom and Dad's really going all out for me this time. Well, this is how it goes. We leave to secure a better future and our parents will always be loving, caring and worrying about us. Don't worry Mom and Dad, I won't dissapoint you.

I had a few last hang outs with my buds over the week talking and crapping just about everything. Friends are really important in life. Although they come and go, God's put them there for us in that point of time for a reason and purpose. And that's we must appreciate them for all the efforts they've done for us. I pray that God will bless my buds with a good life and future and continue to make good music. May their dreams be fulfilled.

I'm gonna be leaving soon, and I won't be able to catch up with you guys soon. Do take care, may you be blessed for your future undertakings. So long guys. Will see ya when I come back =).

~HUGS to you all~

I'm Gonna Miss Home ;~(

Yeah I know, I've always been looking forward to this..I've always wanted to start a new life and future..But deep down right now, I'm feeling a lil' sad....

I know I'm gonna be missing home again, that's for sure. Mom n Dad's come to a good'ol age, and I'm leaving them once again. I can see them going all out for all of us; their children and their love towards us. I can't barely see them not having a good life at an old age later on. But I know that Dad wants me their children to be with him..

Wait, Mom n Dad. Wait for me. Until I get myself settled down I'll try my best to help out the family. And when I've settled down in somewhere safe and nice, I'll bring you to come stay with me and have a good life. I've got dreams, dreams to have a better life and a dream to see my parents happy, that I did not dissapoint them and their investment in me is all worth while.

Dear Father in Heaven, please take care of my parents, and bless them with long life and good health so that they'll live long enough to spend their precious time together and with their children, and also with their grandchildren. We're all older now, not the kids anymore who used to ride our scooters in our good'ol house compound. It's time for us to fulfill our responsibilities as their children n God's children. Please guard our hearts, that we may not fall into temptation, but ultimately be secured in the hands of our Lord Jesus Christ n we will shine for You n fulfill Your purpose in us for Your Glory.

Back to Freedom Again~

I'm having mixed feelings right now..a lil' excited and a lil' sad. I'm excited because I'm heading to a new place to face a new challenge, and a sad because I'm gonna miss home and friends. I'm not gonna be able to be back so often again, and it's a whole new world I've to face out there, all alone...

Well, I'm blessed enough because God's blessed me with some friends and relatives there that could help me through the whole journey. This time, going through a whole new journey all by myself is totally different thing. To be honest, it's not burdening, and I've no extra reponsibilities, worries or concern that I've to consider to make any further steps. It's whole lot easier without that extra burden on my shoulders. Being all by myself, I've allowed myself to dream even more and to achieve greater things in life. People dream before they could achieve things, or else, we'll be just another ordinary visionless person on earth.

Got my stuffs all packed up for the flight..and a few more things to settle before I could leave this country in peace. I haven't stopped travelling for the past 5 months, but later on, I'll be staying put in one place for at least 4 months. That oughta be challenging, coz I get to explore a whole new country to me. It's a whole new place with a whole new culture and people.

And this time, I'm gonna be experiencing total freedom! haha. Well, not totally freedom, coz I'm not gonna betray myself and betray God with things that are not supposed to be done. God's always watching, and I'm not gonna let Him down. Will be looking for a good church and have a new beginning altogether. It's true to the saying "birds of a feather, flock together". We should be together as Christians to strengthen us spiritually and to encourage each other to be closer to God. I realised it's very easy for a lone sheep to get lost in the wilderness and be tempted by satan to follow him and his ways...hmm...not a very good idea. I oughta be looking for a good flock while I'm still conscious.

One very important thing that I've come to learn, is that God's never left us at anytime, even though we left Him. He always wants to speak to us, but we didn't allow Him to come near us. We close our ears and eyes, and we ignored Him for good. Till one very fine day, we realise that we're trying to run the path all on our own and things doesn't seem to go as well because we chose to be independent from God. And we started to realise how wonderful God's presence could be, coz we'll feel His joy and peace, knowing that He's taking care of us the whole time, not leaving a single step from us.

Day 65 without Dan- Ready?? Get Set n Go

It's more than 2 months now..And I could still manage to come back to square one. How can I be so easily shaken? How can I be so easily affected? I still can't be alone..

Over the times, I started to realise I've changed to become an impatient and emotional person. I started to react irrationally at times when emotions take place. Maybe because I've moved far away from God, and I refused to listen to Him and let Him take His place in my heart. I grew cold, ignorant and started to take things into my own hands. I didn't lift my burdens to God anymore. I know He's waiting for me, but I'm ignorant.

And so, the challenge is, am I ready now? To take up the challenges that's installed for me ahead..to ignore all bad things that could affect me and start moving on with life? I'm certainly looking forward to a new life, but am I ready for it yet? I guess this question is too late to be asked, coz ready or not I'm still gonna be heading to work already. I have to be strong, get set, and GO!

These 2 weeks have been hectic for me. I've been travelling up and down again to KL n PG to pay a visit to Aunt Shan n grandma before I leave. I'm also trying to squeeze in some time to spend some time with mom n dad, then I've to be back to PG to work for 1 week to earn some money to have enough for my "migration". I guess I won't be able to see them for quite some time already, so I better make use of this time to do so.

It's something new for me, coz I'll be on my own with no one to take care of me anymore, being alone there. Surely, there're still my relatives and friends there, but I'm living all by myself now, and I really shouldn't be doing anymore mistakes now. I cannot afford to repeat the same mistakes again. I have to improve myself, and be more aware of myself and the others so that I won't offend them in anyway.

I pray to God that I'll be wiser, and to care more for others and not to take people for granted anymore. I want to draw near to God and be loved again. I want to be with Him again.

Day 60 without Dan- The Start of Something New

I'm gonna leave my home, my 2nd home and my country soon..I'm gonna leave to somewhere new and foreign to me. I'm gonna be living all by myself, becoming independent for real now. I'm gonna start a new life altogther soon..and it's a new beginning of a new future.

This is gonna sound similar..I'm gonna miss my homes, but no so much for my country =P. My home is where my parents are, and nothing beats the warmth of the family. Our family is the closest to us and they are always there when you need them. A family is supposed to be filled with love and care, just like what God intended for us. I know I'm gonna miss them a lot, but there's something that needs to be done to carry the burden of the family together with my parents as a responsible daughter. And I believe experience is very important for a person, especially people like me who hasn't much experience of the outside world. Being protected and kept in the house doesn't really helps, seriously.

It caused me to be immature, and not aware of the dangers of the outside world. Some times we'd just have to gain experience from the outside world to grow up n wiser. There, I know I will learn a lot, and I will grow more. By God's grace I'll be a better person.

My song, "Unforgettable" is complete. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping the song would be arranged and produced so that it would be included in Simon's album, and be aired on radio. I'm not gonna stop here. Music is my passion and life. I'm gonna do more good music, and I will never stop singing.

I'm gonna miss my friends, especially my partners who are also my closest friends. Nothing beats the joy of sharing the same passion together. They do what I do, they love what I love. They care for me and help me when I need them, and I really thank God for them.

It's gonna be a whole new world out there. And I'm gonna face it all on my own. God will be there for me I know. I must be strong. I must not be easily teared down but shine for the Lord in whatever I do. I will draw closer to God each and everyday so that I will not loose track of Him. Here I am, humbled before You, take me, and lead me to wherever You want me to go and do, Oh Lord. I wanna live my life doing what God wants me to do, fulfilling His purpose in me.

Dear Lord, I pray for the people in Singapore, that they will not be racist but be filled with love and care. I pray that they will not cause any trouble and will be filled with Your grace, and everything there will be smooth flowing. Lord, please send Your angels there to guide me and take care of me. May I shine for You there by Your sufficient grace, for all things work together for the good. Dear Lord, please teach me to be humble and forgiving, but wise enough to protect myself from dangers and temptations. Thank You for Your wonderful Love that never fails me everyday, eventhough I failed you. You never leave me but always be there to remind me that You are there for me.

Amen.

Day....My New Love~

I thought I’d only fall in love with one, and the only one. Afterall, I’ve been in love for all these years. But now, never could I imagine I could fall for another one. I started to find the existing love beginning to fade away, and it started to get a little boring. I knew my love has changed. So long to the old one. I’m gonna start loving you from now onwards and forget about the past, my new love, my White Tuna Sashimi~ =D.

-How We First Met-

It all started when I stepped into this new Japanese restaurant in the ever famous Pulau Tikus (where all the Jap food places are) in Penang. At first look, it seemed to be just another Jap restaurant with my expectations being moderate on it. It doesn’t look like any good and classy restaurants around, but since it’s a new place (and being a loyal Jap food fan), I’d just thought I’d give it a try.

We started off with the menu on the table, and picked a few dishes out of the (I would consider) wide variety of selections. My friend suggested we pick the sashimi coz it’s supposed to be good. Of coz I agreed on that one, and we each took another noodle to go with. The first to be served was the sashimi. We had a good stare at it, and the both of us didn’t waste any time to sink our teeth into those raw, delicious meat. Always being my favourite, the Salmon sashimi, we started off with that unbelievable thick, juicy piece of raw fish and that experience was totally, superb/ mesmerizing/ magical, you name it!

Then came down to the rest of the other types. There were the Mackerel, Octopus, and Tuna, all equally unbelievably thick and juicy pieces. As we were happily enjoying those pieces, I noticed a very rare kind of sashimi at the side of the plate, yet to be touched. As it was white in colour, I started to suspect those pieces were what they called the Butter Fish. Curious, I picked up a piece and sunk my teeth into it. My oh my, to my surprise, the taste was UNBELIEVABLE! The texture was so soft and tender as it’s quite an oily piece, quite rare as oily pieces can only be found at the belly portion of the fish. Immediately, and just about immediately, I fell in love with it; (and I was wrong, it’s actually) the White Tuna Sashimi!

It was so irresistible that after our meal, we even ordered another plate of White Tuna Sashimi all by itself!

I really do not know how to further describe that unbelievable, irresistible taste of the White Tuna Sashimi. I only know that it has captured my heart for another time again over all the years being so loyal to the Salmon sashimi. You gotta try it to believe it! I know I shouldn’t be loving it so much, coz it means the White Tuna will be facing a slimmer chance of survival as the demand for the meat got higher by now.

Well, I think I’ll just meet you up once in a while, and not too often…but I’ll definitely be missing you, my new love~

Wonderful, it's a love at first bite~

Day...Together Forever

It’s been some time since the last entry. As much as I wanted to get it updated, I was kinda restricted from it coz there was no chance for me to go online. Thus, the wide time gap in between the last and the latest entries.

May 17 marks a special day for this couple.....

I was back in Penang to attend a lovely couple’s wedding; Sharon and Kevin. I’ve known them ever since they were newly going out with each other, around 2 years ago. Sharon is always a sweet girl, who was quite anxious of this relationship and loves Kevin a lot. She’s always enthusiastic about the both of themselves. At the isle, both Kevin and Sharon pledged their loves to each other for life before the Lord, and what’s best is, they found out they not only want to live together, but can’t even live without each other. I’m sure they had not only touched my heart, but the hearts of all the other witnesses on that day as well. I’m really happy for the both of them, and I pray for God’s blessings to be with them.

Coming and being together for life seemed so easy for them although I too understand that they have gone through many obstacles and challenges during those 2 years being together. It was only 2 years, and they could tie the knots and being so assured for life that this is the life partner they want to be with. Well, I guess it tells us that God works in miraculous ways, and He definitely has a plan for our lives. It was a great and special moment for them at that point of time. They are such a beautiful couple =).

Hmmm..well now if you ask me, I’m not too anxious for mine at the moment. After all, God has His plan for us, and every thing has its own timing. It’s all up to Him to make things and break things, so I’m letting Him to take over the steering wheel. I’m just gonna cross my fingers, trust God, and move on.

I’ve been back to Penang for almost a week now. This time back here is a time of catching up with lotsa buddies and friends. Hey, honestly I didn’t know I’ve got so many friends to catch up with, and I wonder if I have enough time to catch up with all of them in this short period of time. Boy, I can’t wait to start a whole new life altogether soon....

Day 42 without Dan- Sat & Sun, Catching Up & Looking Forward…

As usual.. Always can’t get enough sleep for some reason.. I gotta do something to the bed!!!

Saturday and Sunday was a time of catching up with lotsa good’ol and new friends…We went to visit Mike at the motorcross competition at Lembah Tempurung on Saturday. I almost forgotten about it until he reminded me the night before. Luckily we managed to get there on time the next day, and both Willy and Charleston had a fun time watching those motor crossers trained and pulling off their stunts. I managed to catch up with Mike; ahh, he’s still as playful as ever, young and energetic. Being a professional motor cross racer, he and his bro, James weren’t allowed to participate (coz they’re too good already, haha). Well, it’s a good thing they are able to have their passion as a career =). (Besides this, Gua Tempurung is a nice place!)

It was a long day, coz after that I met up with another friend in town. She needed company coz she kinda went through the same thing as I did. I know how it is to be alone at this kind of time, and I don’t think I want the same thing to happen to her too. I had to bring her home later on and of all times, I lost my way. I was almost on the way to Penang after dropping her back! In the end, I was late for the late night show….=S.

Sunday was Mother’s day. We actually planned to watch the motor cross today too, but since it was Mother’s day, we thought we should spend some time with Mom and Dad to have lunch. Church service was in the evening, and I managed to catch up with Pastor’s daughters, Sherine and Melissa. Both of them were and are flying and the both of them were my schoolmates! Haha. As Pastor’s daughters, I’m sure they had enough advice from their parents about flying, and both of them had their fair share of experience in the airlines. They both gave me a lot of heads up, advice and a challenge to stay pure and right in God’s presence, and most importantly to have a good relationship with God. Sherine was in SIA for some time till she got the calling and went for Bible school for 1 year. She’s now doing good serving back in Ipoh in our church. Thank God for guiding me through this path, and giving me a lot of guidance from so many different people sharing the same career that loves God.

It seems modeling is a kinda trend recently, and surprisingly even in Ipoh. I kinda met another old friend in this church and he’s into modeling as a career doing for Asian countries. Gee, that oughta be good, coz this is the best offer I ever heard of from so many others. He meets their conditions with the looks and everything. Well, actually to talk about it, the history of our friendship was quite a funny one too, haha. But then, gosh… he is still as shy as ever.. Sweet =). Later on, I managed to catch up with his bro too before heading home.

I guess I’m gonna be missing these guys soon as I get to SG. I didn’t realise that I’ve actually a long list of friends I almost forgotten about. It’s gonna be a whole new life in SG, and a bunch of whole new friends I’m gonna meet with soon. I know the culture there would be different and everything else would be different, but I’m just gonna stick to my goal, look to God and do my thing before I move on to the next stage in life. Those were something for me to get my mind off the depression and sadness for a while. Despite that, I would still have those thoughts back every night I sleep, but I am slowly trying to recover from the hurt and depression.. I’m really looking forward to the new days, so that there’s something new in my life, and I shall forget about everything of the past, and have a new life once and for all.