It's more than 2 months now..And I could still manage to come back to square one. How can I be so easily shaken? How can I be so easily affected? I still can't be alone..
Over the times, I started to realise I've changed to become an impatient and emotional person. I started to react irrationally at times when emotions take place. Maybe because I've moved far away from God, and I refused to listen to Him and let Him take His place in my heart. I grew cold, ignorant and started to take things into my own hands. I didn't lift my burdens to God anymore. I know He's waiting for me, but I'm ignorant.
And so, the challenge is, am I ready now? To take up the challenges that's installed for me ahead..to ignore all bad things that could affect me and start moving on with life? I'm certainly looking forward to a new life, but am I ready for it yet? I guess this question is too late to be asked, coz ready or not I'm still gonna be heading to work already. I have to be strong, get set, and GO!
These 2 weeks have been hectic for me. I've been travelling up and down again to KL n PG to pay a visit to Aunt Shan n grandma before I leave. I'm also trying to squeeze in some time to spend some time with mom n dad, then I've to be back to PG to work for 1 week to earn some money to have enough for my "migration". I guess I won't be able to see them for quite some time already, so I better make use of this time to do so.
It's something new for me, coz I'll be on my own with no one to take care of me anymore, being alone there. Surely, there're still my relatives and friends there, but I'm living all by myself now, and I really shouldn't be doing anymore mistakes now. I cannot afford to repeat the same mistakes again. I have to improve myself, and be more aware of myself and the others so that I won't offend them in anyway.
I pray to God that I'll be wiser, and to care more for others and not to take people for granted anymore. I want to draw near to God and be loved again. I want to be with Him again.
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