Day 39 without Dan- Thanks for the Hurt

That I may grow to be stronger, tougher and wiser. I admit I was childish. I was innocent and naive. I was too straight forward to think that things happen the way they seem and look to be. I might still have the same traits, but from this moment on, it has changed my perspective towards this and many other aspects in life.

I will not be so emotional anymore. I must stand up again. It’s not the end of the world and I don’t have to give up my life for this. I cannot be hurt anymore ever again. Love is not eternal except God’s. Never treat love as something eternal besides God’s. Humans will fail themselves and love in this matter is NOT calculative and unfair. It’s not necessary that if a person has more love to give and contributes more to love, he/she will be having the equal love from their partner. I wonder how many more hurts to go before true happiness comes.

Thanks for the hurt, because it has open my eyes to see how wonderful love can be, and how cruel it can be when love is gone. The only person that could hurt us the most is the person that we love the most. The hurt could grow 10 folds if that person is a merciless one, a bad one who doesn’t even care for how we feel. The anger and hate will grow even more and it’s even harder to get things over. Being cruel and hard doesn’t help. They only make things worst. I hope it will not happen, and I will not be hurt more especially being in this vulnerable state again at this very moment. Caring and being considerate helps so much more in fact.

For countless times I’ve said I gotta let go. For countless times I’ve tried, and it was so hard to do so. Once again, my emotions failed me. Once again, I was smashed to the wall. At last, I now realise that I have to be strong, and not to give in to emotions so easily. I cannot fail myself again. The sky may seemed to have fallen on me once again, but I must get out of this and find for another sky and another world. May I see the light again and a rainbow that will remind me this will not happen again.

I shall have a new life soon. I shall see things differently then. I will have more things to look forward to than to stay in the same state and mourning on the same tragedy. Everyone has to move on and find a better life, or else we’ll be trapped in depression and will never be able to come out of our own world. Why mourn of the past where we have better things to look forward to? God is there to give us hope, no matter how much we think He’ve failed us at the present moment.

Time to time I’ll be missing the days of happiness and sweetness. From time to time I’ll be hurt by how it ended…is it worth for me to still recall all these memories? Is it worth for me to ponder on them? Will they bring me anywhere? Well, at the looks of it, I don’t think so.