This few days, my days have been gloomy. In fact it's dark, and it shows every signs of rain. I realised the hard truth about our relationship. The saddest thing is, it's been happening for so long, but I didn't learn to realise it.
Now he tells me that his feelings are different already..am I too late to make a change? Or is it he just didn't see me already realising it and starting to make a change, that's why he couldn't guarantee me? I am starting from now on to change. I will do it. I will compliment him in every single aspect.
I realise I was so childish and stubborn; always thinking that I'm right, with my own reasons, but in actual fact, i'm not. I now painfully know that it's my bad attitude that I have to change. I will change for the better. I don't want to regret and change only when I loose the person that I treasure most in my life now.
Lord please give me a little time to change. Please be there with me. I've been broken down into pieces again. I'm sorry that I didn't appreciate what You gave me. I didn't appreciate your love. I didn't appreciate his. I wanna be more mature now, I wanna learn how to be the person You want me to be.
No bebe, you won't be robbing my happiness if things doesn't work out. I realise it's not my own happiness that I have to pursue only. I realise that it's the both of us that matters the most. I want our happiness more than my own. Only when times like this that i realise I rather loose my dreams and my goals than you, because our future is so much more important to me than those short-term goals. I rather loose everything else than you. Only when times like this that I know what is the most important to me. Please don't misunderstand. I'm not trying to salvage this relationship by saying all this. I really do know now, and I meant every single thing I said.
I miss those happy times we had together. I miss your love. I miss you Daniel..
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