The truth is always there. It is always right at your face, but you just chose to brush aside, unwilling to face the fact. You just choose to lie to yourself, still clinging on to that slightest hope, the faintest light which you can barely see.
It's all gonna be good. Things will be recovered like it was before. But then when things didn't go my way, I get very depressed and dissapointed. At the end, I realised, that it was just me wanting n forcing things to be the way I wanted. I was being very self-centred.
Now that I realised the truth, it is quite pointless for me to keep holding on to that self induced hope. The truth hurts. That's all I can feel for now. But does that mean that I don't have to face it? Best is it cuts through me deeper than ever before. Best that it hurts so much until it will one day makes me feel that it's not worth to be drowned in that stupidity. It's not like it could change anything, but to only kill me inside out.
And the only person who feels the pain? Me.
The truth is, it's not happening anymore. It's not gonna happen again. Just stop being engulfed by the self induced fake hope anymore.
Afterall, everyone is just being human. Not that a person is not as good as the other. We're all just different from each other, beyond comparison. It is just each and everyone's preference to what or who in their strife for happiness..
I hope I can get out of this soon. I hope one day I would wake up n tell myself that it is all meaningless and remind myself of my stupidity and never to let it repeat it again.
I hope I could one day look back, and smile on the past telling myself this; Lesson learned, and I've moved on, being a happier person than ever before, and thank God for His unfailing Love.
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