I Remember

I remember the 1st day where you brought me to Sigi's..You knew my favourite song, n you have it on in your car when you arrived at my place; "Home". You gave me a bouquet of flowers n you brought us to dinner. It was the sweetest day of my life.

I thanked the Lord so much for taking away the broken past and let the best thing that could've ever happened to me. It was the best time of my life. I graduated not too long ago before this happened. 2 weeks later, you encouraged me to go and try out on a job interview in Dell. It all went well, and I worked there for a year. Honestly, I wasn't happy about the job because it paid peanuts. 9-5 is definitely not my thing.

But over the year, I knew you were very pleased of what I was doing; leading a normal life, doing the normal thing everyone does. Our time didn't clash; just in time to meet each other for dinner n spend some time together. But then, you knew I was performing all these while. You asked me to cut down on the nights, so we can have more time for each other.
It was hard for me, coz I was partially depending on it for a living. Yet I tried my best to make days available for us by reducing down on the days. I knew it was a sacrifice I had to make. I neglected my responsibility and was stuck in between. I dislike my job, and I'm not doing very well with the other.

Honestly, I was still very confused. As a young lady that just came out from school, I didn't know what to pursue. But I was sure I was filled with my passion, and that was the time to do it. You didn't like it. I struggled between life and passion. We had arguments, after arguments, after arguments.

Finally, you decided to shut yourself away from all the trouble and noise. You weren't happy. Oh, how hard I tried to mend those back, but it wasn't enough. There were sleepness nights and countless days of worries. You start not to take me into consideration on your decision making anymore. To you, I will not be one of your priority anymore. You didn't give us more time to reconcile. You couldn't wait anymore. Your heart just grew cold over the days to come.

I shouldn't have left you alone during your lowest times. You just got used to living without me. When I came back, it was different for you already. How my heart ached for the things that were happening. I tried every best way to mend it, but you told me it was too late. My tears would roll down everytime I thought of it. You just made a decision to work in a foreign place.

I vowed in front of you, never to go back to my passion, and take up an ordinary job for our sake. It is still not what you wanted. Your heart was broken, and it's not worth turning back anymore. You do not feel for me anymore. Not like the time when we used to cry and laugh together.
I couldn't blame you for any more or less. We both had a part to play, and I neglected mine. I always missed those times. I missed that person whom God's given to me but I didn't do my best to treasure him.

Dear Lord, strengthen my personal being, for I know you have plans for me. My heart aches everytime I think about it. My soul weakens everytime I knew that he's no more less than a friend that doesn't even bother of my existence anymore. How I wish You would mend it all back together, and give me a new beginning. Forgive me for my ignorance and stubborness. I am now just gonna be waiting upon You and follow You altogether. I've lost a person who had once made my life complete. I don't want that to happen again.